Artwork by Quentin Monge.
No one ever said going to sleep with me night after night was going to be easy- especially me.
I regret the days I could barely stand to be in the same room as you. I wish more than anything I could get back all of that time and appreciate you even while you were at your worst- when I should have been loving you the most.
Understand that there were many days when I didn’t recognize you and I thought I had lost you completely.
Understand that the thoughts you were having about me cut like a knife.
All I ever wanted was for you to let me love you. Plain and simple.
When I reminisce and look at old pictures it’s as though I’m looking at a different girl- it’s your eyes, I think.
They’ve seen more now.
It’s clear that you’ve changed.
In the new photos there’s a quiet strength that comes through in your gaze.
A finessed sort of toughness.
I have to admit... it’s sexy.
I’m so grateful you are managing to come back.
Thank you for coming back into your body.
Thank you for giving me more time and allowing me to remind you that being alone is not a curse, but a gift.
Thank you for listening to me when I tell you that we need things.
Thank you for honouring us with food when we’re hungry, rest when we’re tired, exercise when we’re feeling strong (and only when we’re feeling strong).
Thank you for being grateful for where we are and for trusting me when I say we’re headed in the right direction.
Thank you for being comfortable in all of the silences.
Of course I know nothing compares to the feeling of someone slipping their hand into yours and pulling you in close.
And of course there’s nothing sweeter than a big, strong someone feeling bashful and leaning in close to ask for a kiss.
And of course there’s nothing more electric than when a significant someone looks a certain way at you and whispers a sweet little thing in your ear.
But until we’re comfortable in our love, we won’t be able to believe that what that someone says is true .
Without our love we won’t believe their touch is more than physical - we won’t be able to taste the sweetness they will want to spoil us with.
And we deserve to be able to believe those someones.
We deserve to be able to taste the sweetness.
We deserve to be able to experience the romance.
We deserve all of the good things.
Thank you for making an effort and learning to love yourself.
You deserve that.